I know, I know... I should have updated a LONG time ago, but as usual, I'm way behind... So without further delay... First up... Operation: Bridesmaid Dress... The wedding was last weekend. I'm so glad I got to be there with my beautiful friend and of course, I was super excited to be there in my fun, red, size 12 bridesmaid dress (just as a reminder, my last bridesmaid dress was a size 20)! I wish I had more pictures, but my phone/camera died! So sad... Here's one I got with my phone before it died and one that the photographer took. Aren't all those colors fun!? It was such a great day!
The Monday after the wedding, I went to the gym and found out the results of the Biggest Loser Contest. I don't have any picture evidence, but... I WON! I lost 16 pounds during the competition, so I got $32 ($2/lb) and I got a card for 16 free smoothies from the gym's smoothie bar. I'm not really a smoothie person, but hey... they're yummy and free, so I intend to enjoy them! I'm just happy to be the winner!
I've had lots of ideas floating around in my head lately for a blog post, but it's time to watch a movie with my man and enjoy the rest of this Saturday evening. :) More to come soon!
If you've been checking back, waiting for an update on how The Biggest Loser is going at my gym... I'm sorry that this will not be the post you're hoping to find! I should have written after my first weigh in. When I weighed in after the first week, I was down ELEVEN (yes 11!) pounds. WHAT!? I was so stinkin' excited. Just LAST Sunday (a mere 10 days ago) I weighed in at my lowest weight ever, and posted all over facebook about how I was finally out of the "obese" BMI. But then, just as quickly as my fire was lit a few weeks ago, it went out again. I slacked off. I started snacking again, and quite frankly, not caring while in the midst of it. What in the world? Last week when I weighed in at the gym, I was up 3 pounds. I know that's still 8 pounds in 2 weeks, which is great, but I also know that my heart has not been where it needs to be. You see, this challenge in not merely about losing weight for me. It's also about eating, exercising, and living with a heart that is focused on Christ. When I'm sneaking snacks from every human eye, I know Christ sees me, and what breaks my heart now is that in those moments I just don't care. *Gulp* Yes, I just admitted that on the internet. My heart is a dirty mess people. I saw some friends last night who hadn't seen me in a long time, and I am so very thankful for their encouragement... it helped me get up this morning and get to the gym. It's helping me go back this evening for another round! However, it was also very convicting because these people were complimenting me, and that felt good... but I knew I was not reaching my real goal of living with a pure heart in everything I do. Colossians 3:23-24 says, "Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ." So, what will I do now? MY natural instinct is to give myself a pep talk. "You got this, Bonnie. Get back to that gym and run 5 more miles. Put down that jar of peanut butter. You're worth more than this! You got this!" Truth is, friends... I don't got this. Not on my own. I need Jesus more than ever, and for that, I ask you to pray for me! Pray that I will stay focused on Him and not a number. Yes, the number should still be going down... I am trying to lose weight, but the number is not everything. Pray that I will learn to maintain focus! I can't help but think of Paul, when he wrote in Romans about knowing what he should do and yet lacking the power to do it. I feel like a little Paulette right now, so I'll leave you with his words (in the style of The Message)... Romans 7: 17-25 17 But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can't keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! 18 I realize that I don't have what it takes. I can will it, but I can't do it. 19 I decide to do good, but I don't really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. 20 My decisions, such as they are, don't result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time. 21 It happens so regularly that it's predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. 22 I truly delight in God's commands, 23 but it's pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.24 I've tried everything and nothing helps. I'm at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn't that the real question? 25 The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.
Alrighty folks... I'm all signed up and have started the Biggest Loser competition at the gym! My starting weight was 189 (higher than normal, but I usually weigh in first thing in the morning and this was right after lunch). Yesterday was the first day of the competition. I am using myfitnesspal to track my calorie intake, and yesterday was the first day in as long as I can remember (literally) that I didn't go over my 1200 calorie limit! It was a little tough, but no major temptations yet... I'm sure they'll come later. I got to the gym last night at about 7:15, jogged 3.3 miles (40 minutes), did 10 rounds of: 10 burpees and 10 sit-ups (about 17 minutes), and finished with 20 minutes on the elliptical. While I was working out last night, I saw some ladies who may be my competition. I don't know yet who's in the competition, so I just see everyone there as a competitor! If I see someone working out hard, I try to up my intensity - competition is good for me! It's only day 2 and I'm already tired, but I'll find my groove. I did it before, I can do it again! This time, unlike before, I had Chuy take some "before" pictures for me. I'll be sure to take some at the end of these 2 months to see if we can really see a difference. So exciting!
When I joined my gym, I noticed on the website that they had recently held a "Biggest Loser" competition. The winner won $300!! I have been waiting... hoping... and asking for them to do another one, and finally it's HERE! It begins Sunday, April 21 and ends Sunday, June 23. I don't even know yet what the prize will be or how it will be judged. I know that I have to weigh in and they have to measure my body fat. I don't know if it will be number of pounds lost or percentage. There are a lot of "I don't knows," but what I do know is that I will do everything in my power to win. I will not do anything that is not good for my body, but I will be pushing myself harder than I have been. Chuy is willing to eat (and prepare!) simpler meals for the next couple of months, and I'm ready to make some sacrifices myself. I have my priorities - things that won't get cut from the calendar, but for the most part, if you want to find me, check the gym... or the trail... or my living room floor (I've been TRYING to work out at home lately). If you offer me candy or a cookie, I might slap you... just a warning. ;-) If you see me, PLEASE ask how I'm doing. I welcome any advice, encouragement or work out buddies. I figure no matter what, I'll win. I'll give my all to win the competition, but more than that, I'll have lost more pounds, be closer to my goal, and be stronger. I always try to pick it up a notch in the summer anyway, so this will be a great boost. If anyone out there has been following my journey since the beginning, you may remember that I was in another competition from Jan - March of 2011. I won that competition, but I feel like the competition will be tougher at my current gym. I've seen some pretty intense athletes! I'll have to raise the bar and see just how hard I can work. I'll update here after my initial weigh in at the gym. I'm so tempted to eat junk food from now until weigh in day! But I know that wouldn't be good for me at all... can't blame a girl for trying though. ;) Here's a little trip down memory lane of the last competition...
If memory serves me correctly, this was about 40 pounds ago... so losing 20+ pounds might not be feasible this time. Any thoughts on what my goal should be?
This will be a quick post, but I would like to get into the habit of posting more regularly, even if it's just something small. :) Today, as I was looking in the mirror, I noticed back/shoulder muscles that I hadn't really noticed before! I also flexed my leg the other day during one of my gym classes and noticed muscles in my leg moving that I hadn't seen before either! This is all extremely comforting, as the number on the scale hasn't moved much lately. I suppose I'm going through another "building" stage. The scale has moved a bit, and just to update you all... I am at 182 now. I hoped to be further along by now, but such is life. My birthday is coming up, so I'm feeling a little more of a motivation to push it. I have about 12 weeks until my birthday, so my goal is to be 169 by then. I know that might sound like an odd number, but I started out at 259, so 169 will make 90 pounds gone. I've LOVE to be 159 by my birthday, but that would be almost 2 lbs a week consistently, and I haven't been able to to do that in a long time. We'll see what happens, right!? So... I picked up my SIZE 12 bridesmaid dress this week and it fits perfectly!!! Just goes to show (again) that the number on the scale isn't everything. I would post a picture, but I figure I should wait until the wedding. Don't worry, I'll post pictures! All of the bridesmaids are wearing a different color, and my dress is RED! I love it... can't wait to wear it. Currently it is hanging in the closet next to my size 20 bridesmaid dress. I really should get rid of it, huh? Hip Hip Horray!!
I have a confession to make. I am a fan of Christian hip-hop. I know you might be surprised, but it's true. Sad fact is though, I married a man who is not a fan (at all). So, when I'm at the gym, it's my time to listen to whatever I want! A few days ago I was running along when the song, "Take Me There," by Trip Lee came on. I had heard this song before, but it has been a while. Let me just put the lyrics to the second verse here for you...
Tell me have you ever seen her?
She's sick with a disease and it's really tryin' to beat her It's taken all her strength She knows that it can't defeat her Cuz she gonna be with Jesus She's more than just a dreamer. Her peace and her joy man it really ain't gone It's all because she knows earth really ain't home And even when she's by herself she really ain't alone Her Savior's there with her while she's singing this song She knows sickness might get her And death might grab her But she ain't scared of death cuz she's trusting in the Master Was buried but He rose up a few days after So death might attack her but death cannot have her So she tells her family, "don't worry anymore" When she's gone from the body she'll be present with the Lord Her body will be raised, so much glory is in store He is her reward so she sings: I just wanna go where I'm only breathing your air Father hear my prayer Take me there Take me there I just wanna see you Brighter than I'm used to you Finally see it clear Take me there Take me there Take me there Thankfully, there weren't many people at the gym that night, so no one witnessed my tears. How could I hear those words and not imagine my sweet Mom singing them. They say so perfectly the life she lived, and the hope she had even as she died. It is more than perfect timing for me to hear these words as we celebrate Easter. Christ died so that He could defeat death. Defeat it. "Was buried but He rose up a few days after;Death might attack her, but death cannot have her."Because of Jesus' death and resurrection, my Mom is alive and well and in His presence. Somehow I feel like Easter has even more meaning for me now. I am overwhelmed with thankfulness at Christ's death. Mom's earthly birthday is coming up soon (April 8th). I am sure that I will feel the pangs of sadness as I wish I could call her and sing Happy Birthday, but she now has the strength to sing with the angels. How could I selfishly rather have her here so that I can sing to her?
Thank You, Jesus, for dying in my place... in my Mom's place. I praise You!
John 11:25-26
Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die.
I know I posted this on Facebook this week, but just incase there's anyone out there who reads this and doesn't use facebook, you have to see my kiddos. A friend challenged me to get in 20 minutes of cardio everyday for 2 weeks. This is how I had to make it happen on Wednesday. :) Some days I LOVE my job!!
I know it's been a long time since I've written. Sorry! No good excuse, so I won't give you any. :-) If you know me at all, you know that music has always played a major role in my life. Towards the beginning of this journey 2.5 years ago, I fell in love with the song "Make War" ...
It became my anthem as I strove to make war against the old me, the sin, the bad habits, the laziness... all of it!
Well, thanks to Pandora, I now have a new song! The song is "Brand New Day" by KJ-52. I liked it from the beginning, but the middle of the song is what really caught my attention. It says repeatedly,
I'm not where I wanna be, but I'm not where I used to be...
If this doesn't explain how I feel, I don't know what does. I still have such a ways to go, but I have come so far! God has made amazing changes in my life over the last 2.5 years. I am NOT who I was 2.5 years ago. I was looking for a picture on facebook last weekend, and I came across these beauties...
The first picture was taken in April of 2010. It was before my first 5k! I finished second to last... and the last lady had a baby stroller. Dang. It was my goal just to finish. I finished! :) The next picture was taken when Leanne and Ashley kidnapped me and took me to the mountains for a weekend. As it says in the picture, it was October 2010, just a month after I began my journey. Wow. Praise be to God for the changes He has brought about in me. Not just my weight, but my lifestyle! So much is different in my life now. Mainly my priorities are different... my health is right up at the top of the list!
I do feel a need to also say though, that I was not miserable in either of those pictures. It makes me sad when people refer back to pre-weightloss days and talk about them as if everything was doom and gloom before they lost weight. Yes, I needed to make changes, but my life still had joy! Jesus is no more my saviour now that I'm 77 lbs less than He was before at my heaviest. He doesn't love me any more now than He did before. He has ordained every step of my life... every step... from the slowest 5k ever to my new best 5k time last weekend. :) He has been so good and faithful to me.
Back to my song... more of the lyrics are...
Your sunlight is on my face I look back how far I came I think about how much I've changed It was hard at times but I'm not the same You deserve all this praise You deserve all the fame You deserve all my ways I point back to You each and all my days
I'm not the same! Praise Jesus I am not the same! And without further ado, here's the song! (My favorite part is at 2:08)
I'll try to be better about updating in the future... I'm 3 pounds away from my next big goal! Hopefully soon you'll be hearing that I've made it! Thanks for reading!!
Sorry I've been a little absent this week... I've been pretty busy lately! Amidst the craziness of a busy week, I came home one day, checked the mail, and had a surprise waiting...
I will keep the giver's identity to myself, since I think this person would rather remain anonymous, but the card basically said that this gift was "to help me with my weight loss plan... eating healthy costs money, and this was just something to help me reach my goals". WHAT!? How crazy is that? It reminds me that I have so many people in my court. Over the last 2.5 years, I have not been alone... not for a moment. Countless friends have prayed for me, encouraged me, and worked out with me.
Weight loss is no joke... making healthy lifestyle changes is hard work... but I thank God that I have a whole team of people on my side helping me every step of the way!!
I still don't know why, but I really stink at jumping. I don't know if it's coordination, balance, fear, or all of the above, but for some reason, I just can't seem to jump! A couple of years ago, when I had a trainer, I remember not even being about to jump up onto a step (like people use in a step class... yes... I know it's LOW!). Once during a workout, after I'd finally mastered one step, my trainer put 2 boxes on top of each other and I was supposed to jump up onto them. Before I knew it, I was face down with a nasty carpet burn above my eye, a bruised ego, and a deadly fear of jumping up onto anything. This past week's workout at my new gym included box jumps... not onto steps, but onto a real plyo-box (as in the above picture). The alternative to jumping was to do step ups, which I did on Wednesday and Thursday. This morning, however, a different trainer was leading the class, and during the second round she asked me to jump. I refused. The third and final round came around and she stood on the other side with her hands out. She said, "hold my hands, and just jump." I freaked out... and then I did it. Twice. I almost cried. I tried to psych myself up to do it without holding her hands, but I just couldn't do it. Not yet. But I will! That box is my new goal. I will jump up onto it without holding anyone's hands SOON! Today was two-fold for me. It was a huge victory to jump onto the box even holding her hands. But it also showed me that I still have lots of room for improvement. There's still so much I have to learn, and I am excited about learning it! I have come a long way since September 2010. Where will I be in September 2013? Only God knows, but I plan to be stronger... and I plan to be jumping without fear!!
Do you ever have one of those days when you really don't want to leave the house? Well, the snow (or more the anticipation of said snow, which melted very quickly!) made me want to be a hermit all day today. But... as the clock ticked away, I knew I needed to get in a workout. I have some workout videos, but they're packed away in a box somewhere. I started to look for them, but then I remembered this workout that Bob did on this week's Biggest Loser. My trainer from a few years ago also had me do this workout during one of my last sessions in order to show me an "easy" workout at home. I'm not sure why, but I never did it until today (about 2 years later!) So... this was my workout!
Basically, I used a deck of cards. Every suit represented a different movement. Aces =11, Face cards = 10, and number cards = their value. So, if I drew an ace of hearts, I did 11 burpees (I made burpees hearts because I LOVE them so much!!! not...) Jokers = 50 jumping jacks. To increase the intensity, I used an 8lb dumbbell for my squats (I held it straight out in front) and during sit ups (I held it at my chest for some, and high above my head for others). When all was said and done, I had completed 95 of each movement! It took me about 32 minutes to complete it, so now I have a time to beat!
The great thing about this workout is that I can change it up to be whatever I want it to be. Once I get more weights for the house, I can do more resistance movements. I could use climbing the stairs in my house as one of the movements. The possibilities are endless! I don't have an exercise mat, and most of my house is tile or hardwood, so I literally completed this entire workout in the tiny hallway of my house since it's the only carpeted spot. Haha! No excuses!
And if you're wondering if it was an efficient workout... I'll let this picture help you decide...
Hooray for being a hermit AND getting in an awesome workout today!!
Last night after working my regular job (teaching Pre-K) and my part time job (tutoring at Sylvan) and going grocery shopping, the last thing I wanted to do was go to the gym. It was almost 8:00. I hadn't seen Chuy all day. That morning I had an appointment that I had to fast for because they were drawing blood. I was totally out of sorts all day. I didn't feel like exercising. I could have very easily justified skipping the gym last night. Even as I was walking into the gym, I was muttering to myself how much I just didn't want to be there. I was such a grump! But as I changed into my workout clothes I felt like I heard the Lord whisper to my heart, "since when has this been easy?" Sure, I may really enjoy some workouts... zumba is a blast... on odd days I enjoy running... but the last 2.5 years have been FAR from easy!! I have hurt physically (both from muscle aches and clumsiness in the gym! hehe), I've cried when that scale wouldn't move for weeks, I've lost sleep getting up for early workouts, I've said no to food that I really wanted. But... these years of work are PAYING OFF! It's not easy losing 70 pounds, but it's worth every difficult moment. This morning I got up and went to a 6am training class at my new gym. Did I want to go back to sleep when the alarm went off at 5am? Absolutely. But do I regret getting up and finishing one of the hardest classes yet? Not even for a second. “Act. It’s of God. (Philippians 2:13) If you do rather than lamenting what you can’t do, you will do more than you thought you could.” - John Piper
Just 8 days ago, I began this blog. I explained that I titled it "Redefining Normal" because my goal this year was to finally be in the "normal" range for my BMI (body mass index). For my height, that means weighing a max of 145. I also explained that I was "redefining" normal, because I really don't think "normal" exists!
example of what the body fat % calculator looks like
Earlier this week, the trainer/teacher at the gym took our weights and body fat percentages. When I told her about my goal to get into the normal BMI range, she said she never uses BMI, and that using body fat percentage is a better idea of how much I should lose. Well, last night her computations were finished. I couldn't help but be excited when she was calling out everyone's muscle mass. Even though I was by far the biggest girl there, I had more muscle mass than a lot of them! I have 122 lbs of muscle mass. My body fat percentage is still high, but that's because I obviously still have a lot to lose. She asked me what my weight goal was in my head, and I said 145... she shook her head and told me that I should be no LESS than 152! She said that to be less than that, I'll have to lose muscle, and I don't want to do that! I'm so happy to know that all of the hard work I've done is paying off.
So... I guess I have a new goal. :) 152 it is!
Just a quick update on South Beach... it is going exceptionally well. I don't feel at all deprived, and I have a lot of energy (especially considering I've not been going to bed when I should). I did 2 classes back to back on Monday, and I felt fine. I was actually pretty surprised by that!
Confession: I wrote on Monday that I was going to try to run a mile every time I went to the gym. That hasn't happened at all! I was a little late on Monday, and then was exhausted after 2 classes & really wanted to get home to my man (it was already 7:30!). Tuesday was an off day. Wednesday I did one class, but I gave it my all and was again exhausted (in a good way) & had gone straight from a staff meeting after work, to the gym... I was ready to go home! Maybe I was aiming a little high with that mile run expectation, but I will be running sometime this weekend to make up for it.
I guess it's official... I'll never be normal!!! :)
So... I found out this weekend that I am going to be a bridesmaid sometime this summer! Though it was not part of the plan, a couple of the other bridesmaids and I ended up trying on dresses on Saturday. I had no idea what size to try on, and started with a 16... TOO BIG! I tried on many dresses over the next hour, and for a lot of them, I needed the 12! WHAT!? The last wedding I was in was a few years ago, and my dress (from the same place) was a size 20. I still have that dress, and can't wait until I can hang them up side by side and take a picture. They didn't have the size 14 for the dress that we're pretty sure I will be wearing, so I tried on a 12. It's way too tight... I don't have to order the dress until the end of February, so my goal is to see just how much I can lose by then. I really really want to be able to buy that 12 and look amazing in it at this wedding. I know the bride is the shining star, but my hubby will be there, and he'll be looking at me. ;) hehe First step of Operation Bridesmaid Dress is a change in eating... I am beginning the South Beach Diet TODAY! (¡oy!) I've tried this before, but never really stuck with it. I'm gonna do my best to really do it this time! If nothing less, hopefully it will break me of my carb addiction (man, I love snacks!). I am also signed up for a training class at the gym (I'll get into that in a little more detail soon) every day this week, and I want to run at least a mile every time I go the gym (either before or after the class). Any other advice on fitting into bridesmaid dresses is more than welcome. ;)
I, like many people, have a love/hate relationship with chocolate. It is so very yummy and makes me smile... until 10 pieces later I realize what's going on and then I kick myself for "enjoying" too much of a good thing! When I came in to work this morning, I found a bag of goodies in my mailbox that I had not taken out before Christmas break. There was an orange (yum) and about 5 "fun size" pieces of chocolate. I had one, and right away wanted to have all of them. So... when the kids left the classroom to go to music, guess what I did? I FLUSHED THEM! Yep... it wasn't enough for me to put them in the trash can. I had to make sure they were gone. As the day has progressed, I've decided that I am going to go on a slight chocolate fast for this month. My rule is that I will only have chocolate (of any variety... candy, cookie, brownie, etc) if I am with Chuy (my sweet husband). He helps me not go overboard. Plus, he gave me some wonderful Trader Joe's dark chocolate in my stocking, and we can't let that go to waste! (Side note: the reason he gave that to me was because the nutrition guy at the gym said that having a piece of dark chocolate at night was a good snack option. See how he helps me succeed!?) So here goes... no chocolate, unless I'm with Chuy, for the rest of this month! Who's with me!?
Where do I even begin? I have been contemplating starting a new blog for months now, and here I finally go! I used to have a blog (www.bonnieb.blogspot.com) that I began in October of 2003. It began as a place for me to journal my experiences in South Africa, then transitioned a few times, finally ending up as a place for me to mostly write about my weight loss / health journey. The last time I posted in that blog was May 20, 2011, and I wrote that I was "surrendering the page" to the Lord. I wrote the following words...
I'm finally excited again... excited to see what the future holds...
excited to see what God writes on this page!!
Eight days later, on May 28, 2011, I went out for dinner after church with friends and ended up sitting beside this guy that I thought kinda had a crush on me. He got my number that night, and on March 24, 2012, I married that guy. What a whirl-wind it has been the past couple of years! I wouldn't change a moment of it!
Now... to the present! I plan for this blog to be a place for me to write... the purpose of my writing may change over time, but for now it is a place for me to write primarily about my continued weight loss / health journey, but I will be writing about other things as well as they come up. I have many lovely friends who no longer live close by, so hopefully this will help them keep up a little. :)
I am calling this blog "Redefining Normal" because my main weight loss goal this year is to get into the "normal" range on the bmi chart. I am right around 190 now (I started out a little over 2 years ago at 259). My goal is 145. I have never been my current weight (on the way down)... never... I weigh less now than I ever did in high school (and maybe even middle school... I'm not sure). It seems unreal to me to think about being "normal" but I am more determined than ever to get there! However, I think that normal is a funny word... who defines what normal is? Is there really such a thing as normal? I don't think there is... so I'll be writing about my normal... my ever-changing normal!! :)
So there you have it... welcome to my journey. I appreciate your comments, encouragement, suggestions, and thoughts along the way. They have helped bring me this far!
For a little visual of where I've come from, here's a couple pictures from New Years 3 years ago...
And here's a more recent picture that my friend Kim Campbell took for me a few months ago... I've lost about 10 lbs since this picture :)
Who else can't wait to see the next pictures!? Stay tuned... may a take a while, but I'm in this for the long haul!!
